Why we need to open our hearts & listen to the people we care for
I wanted to share this beautiful video of Raelene and Soo Ren, who opened their hearts poured out their life story in this short 11-minute film. Raelene touches on the challenges in their life of being an inter-racial couple in the UK, their life settling down in Singapore in a house with 30 members of the family and later as a caregiver for her husband who is living with cognitive impairment. No matter the challenges both Raelene and Soo Ren continue to move forward in life, sharing every day together.
I also apologise for not blogging as much and not having any new articles of late. I’m currently 29 weeks pregnant and soon to start a new chapter our lives with a baby boy. In a way, Raelene and Soo Ren’s story strikes a deep chord in my heart because much like them, me and my husband are an interracial couple as well, with me being an Asian and my Husband being a Caucasian. We do face similar stigmas but possibly not those as aggressive as what Raelene and Soo Ren had experienced in the 60s and 70s. I do ponder the needs and the types of assistance that an interracial couple may require in the areas of dementia care, be it bilingual literature on dementia, or even training especially for expatriates and immigrants, hearing their stories. Most of us will become aware of the cultural differences that both will have to overcome to be together and as cognitive impairment and dementia sets in, can we say that we can we deliver care services that can meet the needs of interracial couples? Is there more that we can do?
On top of the discussions on inter-racial couples, it is also important to recognise that everyone, everyone that you see has a story. As a nurse and a personal care assistant, I have heard of stories of women who worked in the times of war in the UK, wearing their hair in “victory rolls” and working on machines, the life of a submariner and the experiences of a WW2 Vet. There was a lady who took 7 months to sail from Australia to the UK, which to me was an incredible feat in itself. A man who knew more about the history of Singapore than I did, having visited Singapore in the 70s and 80s. A lady who thought me that when it comes to fashion quality far surpasses quantity, pulling out a teal dress she bought 20 years ago for a wedding that continued to look stunning on her at 80. A teacher who taught me all about baking and I’ll never forget five women who agreed in unison that a home cooked meal was the heart and gut of marriage. They opened their heart, they brought me smiles and laughter, sharing with me their adventures, their lives and their memories. I’m here to provide care, and yet it feels like they are providing me with the knowledge and care that I need to mature and grow, learning from their experiences and their stories, nourishing my mind and my soul, an experience that no money can ever buy.